A Tainted Wish
by Phoenixgigs
Summary: Gallifrey has returned, and with it his People. R&R please!


_I don't normally write fiction, and haven't in a long time. Please forgive any mistakes; this was written at 1am when I should have been studying. Just a little random idea that nagged at me till I wrote it down. Enjoy!_

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It was back.

Everything was back. From the snow-capped mountains, jutting up from the ground over the horizon, to the countless fluttering strands of ruby red grass. Even the twin suns burned above him, as fierce and blazing as bright as he remembered them. And then, beneath that warm and familiar burnt-orange sky stood the Citadel. Its outer dome glittered under the light of the suns, protecting the city of the Time-Lords within itself unrelentingly.

Home. He was home.

He'd longed for this, for so very long. Unable to wipe the image of the planet as it cracked and burned, as its people cried out one last time before an endless silence descended upon them. How lonely he'd been since that terrible moment. And how much worse it was made by that sickening guilt that always sat in the pit of his stomach. One stray word was all it took bring it rushing to the surface again. He had learned to quash it, push it down and pretend it was there by immersing himself in adventures. So many adventures! Rushing around to save the day, always keeping it close. Sometimes too close. Life wasn't a game. People died because of him, lives had been ruined because of him. The guilt just kept building. His adventures had so often been marred by destruction and death; it seemed now there was no escape. He'd lost everything, every time.

But for once; everything seemed to be...right. He could reach out and touch the feather-light grass with his fingertips; or reach out with his mind and feel the presence of his own kind, so close. He closed his eyes and felt the heat of the suns against his skin. A smile broke out on his face, unable to hide it even if he'd wanted to. Gallifrey lived again, the proud home-world of one the most ancient species in the cosmos. His home-world.

"Doctor!"

His eyes opened quickly, wincing against the glare of the suns. There, almost in front of him, were people he'd never expected to see again. The Council! He never thought he'd be happy to see them, not ever. The traditional Gallifreyan headdresses casted their impressive shadows against the ground but glimmered like the Dome in the light. A feminine figure stepped forwards, hair cascading down her shoulders. Her sharp eyes met his and the Doctor beamed happily.

"Romana", he murmured, unable to keep the excitement out of his voice. Lady President Romana III, to be precise. She seemed so different from the woman who had accompanied him all that time ago in his four incarnation. Although, in fairness, she was. She was a whole new person; new looks new personality. "Oh, it's good to see you."

Her lips thinned in a tight smile. "Hm. Unfortunately, I cannot say the same to you."

A frown creased his brow. Surely they remembered? Gallifrey had been destroyed! Lost, supposedly forever. Until he'd brought them back, just by... His frown deepened. How had he brought them back again? It was there on the edge of his mind; he could feel it. There was an itch at the back of his brain, like a warning. He dismissed it. Trying to scramble for the memory right now seemed a waste of time, especially when he'd just regained something so precious to him. He tried to brush it aside, looking up at Romana peculiarly, quirking an eyebrow in her direction.

"What do you mean?"

The Time Lady stiffened, her gaze growing colder. "This was your doing. Your fault. Gallifrey burned, and us with her." Her voice reverberated around them, the other members of the Council flanking her she spoke, their faces obscured by the shadows of the headdresses. "You destroyed the Matrix. You murdered your own people!"

Without thinking, he took a step away from her. "But I had no choice." His voice was nothing but a cracked whisper. He'd had this argument in his head too many times to remember.

"There could have been another option, a safer option."

"There wasn't!"

"You never bothered to see!"

"I did! I did everything I could!" His voice cracked mid sentence, becoming little more than a whisper. "I-I did everything I could. It was Time Lords and the Daleks, or the rest of the universe. There was no time." He straightened, meeting her harsh gaze. "I made a choice and I had to live with it."

"Yes. You lived and we burned. And for that, Doctor, you are more than a rogue or an exile. You're a danger to us all, to the Universe as a whole." He started shaking his head furiously; opening his mouth to speak but the Lady President silenced him. "Your luck has finally run out, Doctor." Her lips curled into an ugly, cruel grin as the Time Lord surrounding them suddenly pulled weapons from beneath their cloaks.

The Doctor recognised the weapon in an instant. Designed to kill a Time Lord with a single blow; no chance for regeneration. He didn't hesitate, shoes crushing the frail grass under him as he turned and fled. The TARDIS. He had to get back to the TARDIS. But where was she? The Blue Box was nowhere to be seen in the expanse of red before him.

"There's no escape, Doctor!" cackled a warped voice behind him. The weapons fired ear-piercing bursts of sound. The whistle of the shots increased ten-fold, and in less of a second, they were upon him.

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"No!"

Martha Jones spun around, eyes wide with alarm. Had that been the Doctor? She bolted from her 'room', heels clacking against the metal grille of the floor loudly until she reached the console room and found the Doctor. He was sprawled on the ground, slowly pushing himself back upright.

Martha rolled her eyes and slapped his knees when he sat up. "You scared the living daylights out of me!" she admonished teasingly, but he didn't react. Rather, he stared right through her, his eyes wider than normal with a hint of...fear? Pain?

Martha swallowed nervously, leaning closer to try and meet his unblinking stare. "Doctor?" No response. "Doctor, are you okay?" She reached out and touched his upper arm gently. Suddenly, he looked at her and she could see the pain and loneliness as clear as daylight. And then it was gone, shielded away behind a daft grin.

"I fell off my seat. Dozed off for a quick second and bam! Ended up on the floor. Typical!" He sprung to his feet, dashing around the console with frantic energy. " 'Bout time we moved on, I reckon!" Martha got to her feet, eyeing him suspiciously. "How about Copuri Minor? Y'know, it's got these people with a skin made of a pure crystal! Imagine that! A skin! Made of crystal! Or, or how about; Andravax 4? Or maybe, Horus Fol! What do you reckon, Martha Jones?" He paused over the console, with that trademark grin and Martha knew then and there that he wasn't going to open up.

"Yeah, sounds great", she said, smiling tightly, "I'll...just go grab my jacket."

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The Doctor watched her leave and waited for the sound of heels to fade into the TARDIS. The disappointment in her voice was so blatantly obvious. He gave a quiet sigh and twisted a dial on the console, flicked a few switches absently. How vivid a dream. He rarely slept; it wasn't needed as much for him as it was for humans. But even so, he'd felt everything. _Well, almost everything, _he thought, brushing the back of his hand against his back. Even with its vicious end, the dream had reminded him just how much he missed Gallifrey. Travelling around, having fun; all were such wonderful distractions but he couldn't deny the ache in his hearts for the world with the orange sky.

The Last of the Time Lords gently patted the console of the Last TARDIS in the universe. The machine hummed softly in reply.

He was still alone.


End file.
